The women I loved

First I was a student
and she taught me not to share my heart
with callous laughter and bitter words.

Then I was a runner
always two steps behind her and chasing at her heels
though she never stopped or turned.

I had my turn as an adversary
it was fun
yet I was glad to lose that fight.

Later I was a friend
and her a refuge from the storm
but always someone else's.

I was a wife
and thought I'd found a place
til it was a swiftly shattered peace.

I found a paragon, a diamond
and she was never, never mine
through her I saw what I missed.

And now?
I start again.